Having a pleasant conversation with my parents over the phone, and then I mention a trouble-making sister-in-law of my wife's, here in Asia. Total silence from my mother, meant to cut short that line of thinking and change the conversation. A form of silent shaming on my mother's part. Yet, had I mentioned a trouble-making brother-in-law, uncle, or male co-worker, the conversation would have breezed along, with both parents adding their full insights.
But when a complaint, however minor, is made about a women, my mother clams up. Regardless of the circumstances. Or she will defend the woman. NAWALT, and so on. Give her another chance. She was having a bad day. Etc.
This happens every time I mention a woman negatively or critically. But my mom doesn't mind if I do the same about men.
One of the biggest obstacles for me has been to accept that my mother has been a negative influence. She trained me to take all sorts of shit from women, rather than training me what to watch out for. Rather than raising a wise son, she raised someone who made foolish mistakes with women, and allowed himself to be lied to, manipulated, and used repeatedly. I was a young fool. Like many men out there today. I wasn't given the facts.
My mother puts women, starting with her daughters, on pedestals. Much as I tried not to, I also did this for years. It was the "normal" setting on my filter. Only think great thoughts about women; never judge women badly; women have tender feelings and should be treated with tremendous respect and deference; women won't hurt you; look after women and meet their needs. Put your needs in second place - you're a man, after all.
This kind of teaching is poison for boys and men, especially nowadays. Our mothers are not innocent, but are as caught up in the matriarchy and feminist misandry as any other woman. It's the hardest thing in the world, but a major step forward for any man is realizing that most advice from your mother is dangerous and should be discarded. Manginas are so hard to get through to because of this early, primal brainwashing. How can a lout like you or me possibly compete with the wise teachings of mummy? Remember that the next time you're putting up with a mangina in the staff room. That's why it often takes an earthquake in a man's personal life before he'll even begin to start to listen to other viewpoints.
Matriarchy: Brought to us by your mother.
1 comments:
Brilliant post - this basically sums up why most men have such a distorted view on women and all things feminine in today's world. I had the exact same thing when I was growing up. Mommy dearest was more concerned about making me into a nice guy than she was into passing on skills that would allow me to cope in the world around me. I got more of the same from female teachers when I went to school.
It is only now, as an adult that I am questioning these misguided beliefs that women have installed into me. I no longer automatically respect women because the happen to be women. If they want my respect, women can damn well earn it. Any women that fail to meet my standards for female behaviour I treat with complete contempt.
Boys need to have more men around them when they are young and developing - mainly their dad and more male teachers and other male role models. Unfortunately, this will never happen as the feminasties have - quite successfully - demonized fatherhood and eliminated all other forms of male guidance from the lives of boys and young men.
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